Recently, I’ve turned my 27. Wow, 27 sounds like real adulthood. Goals reached, dreams fulfilled, life settled, self-esteem issues solved. I used to think that when you are 27, you are finished. But as I am looking at myself, I doubt. I’m still in the process of transformation. Though I did so many, there are plenty of big things I didn’t.
My life is perfectly unstable. There are non-clarified issues and target tapes that I haven’t torn yet. There are dreams I postponed so much I forgot them. And one of them is writing my blog in English. I owe it to myself, my education, my ambitions. So, here we are. Let’s try it. Just like that. Now. Jeez, I’m nervous! But what’s the worst that can happen, will I make a mistake? Meh…
In fact, I hope I’ll make mistakes and others will point it out. There is no other way how to learn new things and to do things correctly. You have to try. So this is my try to improve myself and dust off my old skills. In general, I have to start less thinking, less planning and more doing. I have to forget my perfectionism, my past because these factors hold me back in many ways.
And because I am so adult now, for sure!
Looking back, I have to admit that the story of my life is far away crazier than I could ever imagine. I can find some pretty interesting truths in it. I’ve never been that lonely I felt. I’ve never been that invisible I thought. I’ve never been as uninteresting as I saw myself.
Maybe I had only few friends and it was very easy to stay at home alone because none of them was free but what I am sure about, I always had at least one amazing faithful friend who was there for me and ready to go with me through my extraordinary sh*ts. Especially three of them.
I desired for attention. I wished to become a shiny star with days full of sunshine. And boys, of course. I wanted my teenage dream. For a long time, I thought I was just an ugly looser. But if I were, how is it possible that since my 13, there has always been at least one boy interested in me? But most of time, this boy wasn’t THAT ONE I wanted so my teenage brain didn’t count him as relevant one.
I was interesting. I experienced so many fascinating moments and most of them I love narrating now! But 10 years ago, they didn’t mean anything. ‘Cause they didn’t include kisses, parties and me being Regina George in Czech way. I wasn’t a looser. I was just a naive jerk.
I wouldn’t change anything. I don’t want to go back in time and be a teenager again because the background of all great things of that time is still pretty dark, sad, desperate. Nothing I’d wish to undergo again. But maybe… If I had realized how lucky I was, I would have dealt with the dark side much better. Who knows.
Anyway, let’s move to the conclusion. Last 7 years went well. Much better than all previous ones. I met many special people. Got some good opportunities. Was able to start my adult life without any kind of help from others. Traveled a lot. Lived on Mallorca! I make money by writing. That was always my dream.
So, I guess I don’t have to be finished in 27. And I have still some time to reach goals, stabilize my life, conquer the world. Don’t I?